THE W E S T E R BLOG

Yes, tommorow happens to be my 17th birthday, and I've finally found time to write this blog post.

I never precongnited that this day would come so abruptly. Not that it's a grievance to have by any means, but, still.... how was 16? Knowing there is no redemption in that aspect now, 16 was, in short: crap. Yet every new year never ceases to degrade in retrospect, so it's something that I should anticipate and embrace for now on.

16 was no centre of emblem age to naturally reach, but 17 is most certainly a more substantial jump. I'm nearly an adult now, and unlike the past three years, I actually [i]feel[/i] that I am an adult. I feel like I've blossomed from a much less rudimentary stage of a ardently perplexed, yet enthralled rebel to someone who's finally discovered who he is - and finally has a clear idea of his approximated aspirations and audacious ambitions (that will [u]not[/u] be left unfulfilled, this time around, Hook, Line, and Slinker.... restless... simple), at last, a true idea of what he holds in value and what he's been carelessly blinded to irresponsibly take pride for.

I know 16 could have been better, and that I was prone to making many mistakes, which, I did, but I've learnt to no longer hold [i]any[/i] expectations - or planning. It is not the future or the past that will gain my mad lust - it is NOW that I will infinitely, well, not cherish, but cheerfully live, in the moment, and concentrate on what I've probably failed to realize, all transcending the unpenetrateable laws and constraints; all set in a higher level of reality.

It has been a difficult life - yet a prevailing life - and no longer will I arrogantly inquirer. Now, I will take what it as stake, what it is at hand, but not what is merely tantilisingly fixed in grain. But what [i]I[/i] can be decisive over. It is time for me to step up, mature into the man who I truly am under-the-hood, and give things a decent sort out - whether it is a selfish or selfless act, I will allow it to happen. And I will be here.

Despite any antagonizing shift in life to come upon me; I will look inward, look outward, but always recall to look, be, and feel. And then accept. Not as a fixed-function slave amongst slaves, but as a set free spirit who is aware of truth.

Only then, I will know.

So it is.