I am going to document my experience for the benefit of future generations

DAY ONE

soup is the second greatest invention ever

the first is general anaesthetic

currently i have ice packs strapped to my face, most of which is still numb

seems to have stopped bleeding and now it is just fffffffffffff saliva

this is less horrific than i was expecting even though i look like someone who tried to eat a bucket of tumours and am hounded by a perpetual dull ache

i like that they gave me a sheet thing designed specifically to put on my pillow in case i start bleeding in the middle of the night so when i wake up in a pool of my own blood it can be disposed of quickly and easily and with a minimum of dazed screaming