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I am going to document my experience for the benefit of future generations
DAY ONE
soup is the second greatest invention ever
the first is general anaesthetic
currently i have ice packs strapped to my face, most of which is still numb
seems to have stopped bleeding and now it is just fffffffffffff saliva
this is less horrific than i was expecting even though i look like someone who tried to eat a bucket of tumours and am hounded by a perpetual dull ache
i like that they gave me a sheet thing designed specifically to put on my pillow in case i start bleeding in the middle of the night so when i wake up in a pool of my own blood it can be disposed of quickly and easily and with a minimum of dazed screaming